bruce willis

G.I. Joe: Retaliation is out in theaters this week after a bit of a delay, presumably to improve the movie, but after seeing it, I wonder how bad it was before. Filled with tanks, explosions, buff bodies, and 3D (the newest must-have accessory for action flicks), the sequel to 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra has all the elements of a great action movie. Unfortunately, it's a barrage of unintentionally hilarious dialogue from stars Dwayne Johnson and Adrianne Palicki, unbelievable gadgetry, and plot holes. Thankfully, there is some standout action, and yes, Channing Tatum appears, but it's not enough to constitute a trip to the theater. Here are my reasons for why you can skip this sequel.

1. There's not enough Tatum. Don't be fooled by the trailer or the pictures, Duke (Tatum) is only on screen for about 20 minutes. Maybe it's because we know the film was held for a year in order to add more Tatum, but his scenes feel obviously shoehorned in. I felt robbed.
2. There's not enough Bruce Willis, either. When the soldiers are cornered, they turn to one of their own: the retired General Joe Colton (Willis). Willis is allowed to strut around and enjoy the fact that, after years in the suburbs, Colton's skills — and his arsenal of weapons hidden in kitchen cabinets — are needed. I just wish he had more (and longer) scenes.
3. The plotholes are too wide to overlook. This time around, the team is ambushed by an enemy posing as the president, and only three soldiers remain. Abandoned in the desert halfway around the world, Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye (Palicki), and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) find their way back to the states. Presumed dead by the government, they lie low in Roadblock's old neighborhood and somehow acquire an entire stock of state-of-the-art technology, the kind that allows you to put a hair in a lipstick tube and have its DNA code analyzed and matched within seconds. You know, just the gadgets you have lying around.

See more of my reasons after the jump.

Bruce Willis returns as tough-as-nails New York City detective John McClane in the unnecessary new chapter of the Die Hard franchise, A Good Day to Die Hard. When John finds out his estranged son Jack (Jai Courtney) is being held prisoner in Moscow, he packs his bags intending to rescue him. Little does he know that Jack is actually carrying out a mission for the CIA. Once John inadvertently foils the operation, Jack's task to rescue a political prisoner (Sebastian Koch) soon becomes their task. It's a basic plot that soon devolves into elongated, stunt-filled action scenes, blatantly manufactured emotional moments, and predictable plot twists.

Even when forced to work with partners, John McClane has always been a lone wolf. This time, rather than running from someone, he's running toward his son, who, after a rocky childhood, happens to want nothing to do with him. Their troubled relationship takes a backseat to the action sequences, but when emotional moments do show up, they're schlocky and generic. At first, the headstrong Jack is furious to see his father, but wouldn't you know it, he slowly warms up to the old man. Jack's got the smarts, and John has the ability to fearlessly stand amid gunfire and wield a machine gun. They make a great team — if only they had better material to work with. Find out what else I thought of A Good Die to Die Hard when you read more.

Good news if you thought that 2010's surprise hit about retired black-ops agents Red was a great time, because Bruce Willis and co. are back for another spin. Though Frank (Willis) is happy living a relaxed, nonviolent life with Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker), he gets pulled back into another mission by Marvin (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Helen Mirren). This time, the villain is a glam and mysterious Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose character appears to have a rather intimate past with Frank (or she's just really, really friendly).

The sequel has the same kind of quirkiness as the original and plenty of action, but as with the first installment, the real draw here looks like Mirren, who's both beautiful and badass as a former CIA agent. Red 2 comes out Aug. 1, and you can get a look at the trailer now after the jump.

Fierce box office competition, 3D reshoots, and rewrites to expand Channing Tatum's part caused G.I. Joe: Retaliation's June 2012 release date to be pushed back, but it looks like that time may have been used wisely. The original trailer came out around this time last year, but the new preview feels way more badass than the first one. The G.I. Joe task force — headed by Dwayne Johnson as Roadblock — has been declared traitorous and left for dead. The president himself signed off on the order to abandon the team, except he's not really the president; he's some kind of crazed nuclear war genius hiding in the president's skin (science!). It's up to the G.I. Joes to save the world, even though they've been betrayed by their own country.

Give me Bruce Willis in a high-octane action flick and I'm there. I hope that his role is significant because even though Tatum (who starred in 2009's original G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) is supposedly playing a bigger part, it still doesn't look like he's got much screen time. G.I. Joe: Retaliation is set for release on March 29 (for real this time), but you can watch the trailer after the jump.

I have a renewed appreciation for Bruce Willis after he rocked my socks off in Looper, and he's back in his element yet again in the role that made him an action star: John McClane. In the trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard, the fifth film in the Die Hard franchise, McClane has to regulate on some bad guys in Moscow, and he's got his grown son, Jack (Jai Courtney), along for the ride. Don't look for the story in this trailer — it's just a brief teaser full of traditional action-flick elements like explosions, punch-outs, and female eye candy, but I would be lying if I said it isn't a good time.

In a world full of so many sequels, I can't complain about getting another Die Hard movie. It looks like pure popcorn-movie fun, and when McClane compares himself to James Bond in the preview, I realized that he kind of is our American Bond. A Good Day to Die Hard comes out on Feb. 14 (so start making those romantic theater plans now, folks), and you can get your first glimpse of the film after the jump.

Looper gives you a lot to wrap your mind around. Two actors (Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis) play the same character at different ages, one of whom exists in 2044, and the other 30 years beyond that. They come together in a complex time-travel plot that has the potential to be confusing, but writer/director Rian Johnson's inspired storytelling overcomes all these hurdles. The strength of all its elements, including the performances, story, and special effects, make it an impressive film and a new classic in the sci-fi genre.

The film follows Gordon-Levitt's character Joe, a hitman who kills his targets after they're briefly zapped back from the future to receive their death (since the cleanup is far easier in Joe's present of 2044). The understanding for Joe and his "looper" colleagues is that, eventually, each man will have to kill the older version of himself, and after that they will only have 30 more years to live. The older Joe (played by Willis) is hardly resigned to his fate: he escapes, not only because he doesn't want to die, but also because he has an agenda. Emily Blunt also stars as a woman who takes the younger Joe in when the chase between him and older Joe intensifies. Many filmmakers have visions of disastrous dystopian futures, but Johnson's feels more grounded than most, and with a great deal more imagination.

To find out why I liked Looper so much, just keep reading.