Everyone, pack up your weird makeup hacks and go home. You may have thought that society as a whole had hit peak strangeness when some people started using hard-boiled eggs as blending sponge substitutes. But one couple in central Florida changed everything this April when they transformed testicles into the ultimate makeup tool.
Yes, this is for real. BuzzFeed reports that after her 20-year-old boyfriend, Damon Richards, kept teasing her by "putting his balls on [her] head," 18-year-old Johnna Hines naturally decided that she should buff out her foundation with them . . . and to document the whole thing on social media. "I made a joke about using them as a beauty blender and we literally just looked at each other and started laughing and made the video from there."
The tweet and video in question (which you can watch here at your discretion) has over 35,000 retweets. "I think I started a new Instagram makeup trend," Hines joked in the caption. To be fair, the (um) process does seem to be fairly effective, but it's not the most practical method. Could you imagine being in a rush in the morning and trying this? Gonads would be harmed and foundation would be smeared. We'd honestly rather go makeup-free than try this technique, but to each their own!
Hines's newfound celebrity has had some unexpected consequences. To no one's surprise, there has been some aggressive cyberbullying from haters, which she has been handling like a champ. ("im sad for the ppl who are genuinely upset about this because u clearly haven't reached this level of comfort in ur life and that just sucks," she tweeted to her many fans.) She also revealed that she might get kicked out of school for being "such a distraction."
But perhaps the most interesting effect of this viral fame is the fact that she was tapped for an endorsement deal.
life is crazy right now guys!!! i got offered to do a fucking endorsement deal like WHATT
— johnna (@punkzillaa) April 24, 2017
It is quite unclear what Hines would be endorsing, but as Twitter user @tonasaso pointed out to her, "The catch me outside girl was making like $100k. Milk it as much as you can!!!"
Who's laughing now, haters? Looks like it'll be Hines . . . all the way to the bank. Stay tuned for updates as they become available.