The New Anti-Ageing Must-Have: Slendertone Face

Me: How would you like a facelift without actually having to have a facelift?

You: Does it involve wearing this space monkey style headset?

Me: Yes. It gives you “a facelift from the inside out”?

You: Riddle me this, riddle me that. Could you explain yourself? In English? Please.

Me: Alright antsy. If used regularly, the Slendertone Face (approx $475) will boost your facial muscles by harnessing the magical powers of EMS toning technology. As well as being lifted and plumped – wrinkles schminkles – your face will also be able to bench 50kg. Two additional bonuses: Increased blood flow will impart more radiance (ca-ching) and the futuristic headset could land you a part in the next Star Trek movie. Get one while you still can, the US has gone crazy as a coconut for it.