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- Why Is It So Hard to Break Up With Your Hairdresser?
Why Is It So Hard to Break Up With Your Hairdresser?
Getty / Liudmila Chernetska
No teary confrontations, no passive-aggressive texts, no coffee machine custody battle – yet, somehow, this breakup still felt complicated. I’ve dumped and been dumped, but nothing triggers guilt quite like cutting ties with . . . your hairdresser.
Too gutless to say it outright, I just stopped booking appointments. And the guilt was overwhelming. After years together, I knew my hairdresser deserved better, especially since he was my best friend’s boyfriend and I’d still be seeing him around, but I needed a change. Let me take you back to the beginning of our platonic, yet meaningful relationship.
Four years ago, after a string of disappointing haircuts, I sat in Brad’s* chair. My friend had urged me to visit her partner at a high-end salon for a while, but I’d resisted. I preferred hopping between stylists where I could zone out, chat-free rather than talk about mutual friends or events. But fed up with my lacklustre cuts, I gave him a chance. For the first time in ages, someone truly got what I wanted; sharp cut, glossy blow-dry, an effortless experience. I’d found The One.
“I’ve been with my hairdresser longer than my husband . . . she’s my therapist, confidant, sounding board.”
And it turns out, I’m not alone. Pledging loyalty to one hairdresser is common practice. A 2024 Square Survey found that 67% of clients stick with the same hair stylist, and 68% stay for at least three years. Essentially, we are a nation in open relationships with our hairdressers.
“I’ve been with my hairdresser longer than my husband,” a friend’s mum tells me. “The haircut has become secondary. She’s my therapist, confidant, sounding board. And I always leave feeling a million times better. I have been tempted to try a new stylist, but honestly, I don’t know how I’d go through with it.”
A YouGov survey for Kao in 2022 found nearly 60% of people feel their hairdresser genuinely cares about them, while over 40% say the bond goes beyond just haircuts. A trip to the beauty salon isn’t just a service, it’s a form of self-care.
Over time, small talk fades, and real conversations take over. “A client-hairdresser relationship is built on trust, routine, and emotional connection,” says psychologist Chloe Bennet from Academized.com. “The best hairdressers do more than cut and style; they listen, remember details, and make clients feel truly seen. What starts as a service becomes a personal bond.”
If, like me, you stick to a six-to-eight-week routine, you’ll understand. That’s about eight sessions a year, each lasting at least 90 minutes, sometimes two hours (thanks to my thick mane). Plenty of time for life chats, work drama, and everything in between until, before you know it, your stylist knows you better than some of your friends.
“A graceful exit is absolutely possible.”
So when doubt creeps in and you consider switching hairdressers for a refresh, guilt inevitably follows. “Rejecting someone who’s given you consistent attention feels like betrayal,” Bennet explains. For me, it wasn’t about getting a better cut elsewhere, it was about shifting priorities. With a new mortgage and a baby on the way, I could no longer justify splurging on a trim, even with mate’s rates. Fair enough, right? But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. Instead, I spaced out appointments and quietly tested a cheaper stylist until I ran into him and my best friend, sporting a fresh, unmistakably-not-his haircut. Cue the awkwardness and a flurry of bad excuses: “Oh, I had a voucher I had to use!”
And then there’s the added pressure of social media. The modern, adult version of “can I play with you?” is now “what’s your Instagram / TikTok handle?” So, unless you plan on never posting a selfie again, it’s likely your hairdresser will see your fresh hair colour and new bangs online.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Catherine Wikholm, there’s a better way out. “Many people think slowly phasing out their hairdresser is the best solution, but this often leads to awkward encounters later. A graceful exit is absolutely possible.”
Her top three tips for handling the breakup smoothly:
After our uncomfortable run-in, I finally owned up when I was next in his chair. I kept it short and resisted over-explaining. The aftermath? Nowhere near as bad as I’d imagined.
I was upfront. My priorities had shifted, and I just couldn’t justify the cost anymore. I wanted to try a more affordable option. Since he’d already been privy to all my personal dramas, he completely understood that with maternity leave approaching, money was going to be tight. I was sent on a short guilt trip, while he told me that he would miss our chats and was sad to see me go, but in the end, he accepted it was time to part ways. Though, in a final act of hairdresser chivalry, he did offer me a free recovery cut if any of my new stylists didn’t live up to my expectations.
“In a final act of hairdresser chivalry, he did offer me a free recovery cut if any of my new stylists didn’t live up to my expectations.”
So, it wasn’t exactly a goodbye forever, but more of a “we’re on a break” situation.
As for my best friend, I braced myself for some judgment, worried she might take offence that I was ditching her partner’s services. But when I finally told her, expecting at least an eye roll, she just laughed and admitted she’d been through a hairdresser breakup before.
Still, to avoid any future awkwardness, I made one simple request: if I ever show up with a fresh haircut, let’s skip the compliments in front of him. Because while he’s no longer my hairdresser, it still feels a bit like cheating if I rub it in his face.
That said, I’m back to cycling through stylists who don’t always get it right, so was breaking up with The One really worth it?
*Name changed.
Siobhan O’Connor is a contributor at PS UK. With 10 years of industry experience as a journalist, copywriter, and marketing manager, she has worked predominantly across fashion, beauty, and women’s lifestyle projects. Her work has appeared in Fabulous, Grazia Australia, Hello Magazine and The Sun and she has managed content and marketing campaigns for top beauty companies, shaping brand storytelling.