Y'all, Bald Jim Hopper Can Get It
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delighted to inform you that Jim Hopper is alive, but perhaps even more shocking and worthy of discussion, he's now bald. In the new teaser for Stranger Things season four, we learn that the former Hawkins Chief of Police is, in fact, not dead, as the season three finale tried to suggest, and he's undergone quite the dramatic hair transformation since getting captured by the Russians. Those luscious, slicked-back locks and that full, Monopoly Man-esque mustache have been swapped for a buzzed head and closely cropped facial hair, and hot damn, I'm so about it.
For just five of the teaser's 50 seconds, we get to admire bald Hopper in all his hairless glory, and that's frankly all the time I needed to confirm that he's not just a snack — he's the whole damn meal. Hopper doesn't need the full head of hair and bountiful facial scruff he had in the show's first three seasons to be a heartthrob. Without all that hair distracting us, we can fully bask in the BBDE (Big Bald Dude Energy) David Harbour exudes while in character as bald prisoner Hopper.
Sure, Hopper's new look may be slightly reminiscent of Eleven's buzzcut in the first season of Stranger Things, but I'll just conveniently file that comparison away in the recesses of my brain and focus on grabbing a tall glass of water to quench my newfound thirst. Join me in appreciating Hop's freshly shaven look by watching the full season four teaser ahead, then keep reading to reminisce on the character's hair switch-ups through the first three seasons.