It's episode three of The Bachelorette and we're diving straight into the announcement of who is going on the next single date. Robert is the lucky guy who has been chosen, but he is on tenterhooks to find out whether Bill is going to steal it from him using his Wild Rose power. Bill chooses not to steal the date, which the rest of the guys, especially Charlie, seem to think is a bad decision, given Rob's official status as a #darkhorse.
The date starts with Ali mentioning that she likes doing "extreme things" on dates, and we're left a little curious as to what exactly this date is going to entail. Luckily (or, if you look at it another way, disappointingly), the extreme thing is just going for a speedboat ride.
The speedboat takes them to a warehouse where their task is to paint key words that describe their issues from past relationships on large canvases. First Ali paints the phrase "falling fast," then "naive." "If you look up the word naive in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me smiling," she says, which is something I'm not even sure is a joke. Robert paints "manipulated," and "communication," which Ali says she can relate to.
Meanwhile at 'Mancho-relaxo', as Jules puts it, the boys are all standing around in the backyard. Well, all of them bar Ivan, who is dancing like no one is watching because well, literally no one is. In struts Todd with a group date card, and it is revealed that every guy is invited to the "Colosseum of love." The name alone implies things are going to get competitive and I'm a little scared to see how this all plays out.
Back to the single date, Ali and Rob continue with the extreme things theme and smash through the canvases in a car, therefore metaphorically breaking down their barriers to love. The then retire for the classic wine and cheese combo, but this time with the added extra of a tomato and apricot relish that Ali made with the tomatoes Rob gifted her. We then cut to Paddy and Taite discussing how they don't see Rob as a threat as he is "too timid," then cut back to the date where he remarks to Ali that this is "not his first rodeo," before they promptly make out. Yep, he sure seems super timid. Ali gives him a rose, which is no surprise after she's already made him tomato and apricot relish, the (unofficial) international symbol of true love.
It's time for the group date, which, like many of the group dates on The Bachelorette, involves the guys being shirtless. This time, they are dressed up as (shirtless) gladiators. "Holy macaroni," Ali exclaims upon the men entering, which is totally a made-up expression, but also one I'm definitely not against dropping into everyday conversation. Bill and Charlie are paired on the same team and seem to focus entirely on beating each other the entire time. Charlie is angsty AF that Bill was looking out for himself, which seems a little unreasonable considering they are all, you know, competing against each other.
Ivan wins some one-on-one time with Ali and celebrates the only way he knows how — through dance. He reveals to Ali his dream is to "be on a Magic Mike movie with Channing Tatum," and I'm low–key hoping this is the set up for a spin-off show. Ali reveals there is no personality nor chemistry connection between them, so it's not looking promising for the dance machine to receive a rose tonight.
It's now time for the cocktail party and Ivan has planned a surprise dance for Ali because of course, he has. But before they can get to it, Bill swoops in to get some face time with Ali. Suffice to say, Charlie does not respond to this favourably. At all. Neither do the other guys, in fact, Paddy mentions he wants to shove Bill's Wild Rose up his. . . well, need I say more. Ivan finally gets his chance to dance, and at the very least, Ali will probably feel obligated to not eliminate him tonight knowing he went to all that effort, so mission accomplished I guess?
Next Charlie confronts Bill about cutting in on Ivan's time, and it's hard to make out exactly what is said because approximately every second word is bleeped out. Bills tries to defend himself by claiming he didn't know what Ivan had planned, but Charlie isn't buying it, and calls for Bill's elimination, effective immediately. It's rose ceremony time, and Ivan does indeed get a rose, because dancing trumps having no connection, apparently. Bill gets a rose, and Charlie is "gobsmacked." Charlie then receives one too. Wes and Damien are the two eliminated, and while they seem to take the news okay themselves, Charlie is not. Happy. Jan.
Until next episode!