Even though he’s not hosting the Oscars and is unlikely to get an invite to host another Hollywood awards show again, doesn’t mean Ricky Gervais doesn’t have any suggestions. In fact he’s even taken the time to script an opening for this year’s much-hyped Oscar hosts, James Franco and Anne Hathaway. The two young actors have already promised that they won’t be nasty, and that’s something Ricky has considered in his fake script. Most of you thought his Golden Globes opener was hilarious, so here are some snippets of Ricky’s suggestions for James and Anne:
- James’ introduction: “You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds ‘way out’ but wait till half way through this f**king ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.”
- Anne’s introduction: “And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.”
- On Ricky: Anne: “No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.” James: “Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.”
- James on not being mean: “No rudeness tonight. It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.”
We have a feeling James and Anne will probably decline Ricky’s script. They’re working hard in preparation for the gig and we can’t wait to see what they really deliver on Monday!