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Abbie Chatfield's Instagram Post on Life After The Bachelor

Bachie Runner-Up Abbie Chatfield Reflects on Her Journey Since the Show in Honest Instagram Post

Abbie Chatfield, our sex and dating guru, has looked back on her time on The Bachelor in a brutally honest Instagram post.

Writing on the anniversary of her very public dumping on the Bachelor finale on Tuesday night, Abbie wrote that the show changed her life.

"Finale was filmed a year ago, how?!," she began. "It's been the toughest but most rewarding year of my life and I'll forever be grateful to the experience and also to Matt."

Abbie has previously spoken publicly about feeling bullied by the other contestants during the series, and being slut-shamed by Australia as the series was airing, but she credited the adversity she faced on and after the show as the reason she now gets to do what she loves.

She acknowledged that she was laughing on her way from the hotel to meet Bachelor Matt Agnew as a way to distract herself from feeling scared about being rejected, even making Drake "Hotline Bling" jokes with producers.

Abbie was "shocked" by Matt's decision, she says, because, "I didn't see a need to doubt myself because I didn't want to ruin any remaining time with Matt second guessing myself, I don't regret this."

"When I applied for The Bachelor it was honestly, for a laugh," she concluded. "I didnt have any way of comprehending what I was about to go through, even at finale, after I was dumped on le rock, I thought it was the worst thing to happen to me, but now, because of my resilience, I'M FINE!!!!"

With the benefit of hindsight, she shared a message for the 23-year-old, laughing to mask her fear of rejection: "I wish I could go back in time and tell lil 23 year old bebe Abbie 'Everything will be f*cking great, and your value does not lie in the validation of a man, even if you love him.'"

When the finale aired in September last year, Abbie described feeling "complete and utter shock" in the moment. "I was numb," she wrote on Instagram.

"I had felt for weeks that what Matt and I had was real and I trusted him wholeheartedly when he told me how he felt about me. From Hometowns, I forgot the cameras were there. It didn't feel like we were filming a show at all, it felt like we had this real relationship built in a little bubble of 'The Bachelor' and we would be out soon and able to live a normal life."

She was jolted into remembering the cameras — and Matt's choice between her and Chelsie McLeod — and realised that he didn't reciprocate her feelings for him.

"I felt silly for ever imagining Matt would love me. It was like emotional whiplash. I was so confused and it felt like I was in a dystopian reality. The second the cameras turned off, I sobbed. I screamed. I couldn't breathe. I didn't think think this would be how we would end. I spent weeks crying about this relationship that had almost no closure.

"I still haven't fully healed from my relationship with Matt, but I know he and the gorgeous woman he is with are happy, and that's all that matters."

Talking to POPSUGAR Australia after the finale, Abbie said that she was no longer "madly in love" with Matt. "I'm still trying to get over it. I'm not madly in love with Matt, it's like I'm still pining for him, but it's just hard to get through it when you have to watch it all happen again."

Matt and Chelsie announced their split in November last year. And Abbie has very much healed, using her platform to talk about topics like body positivity and abortion, launching her podcast It's a Lot, whose title plays homage to an iconic line from The Bachelor, and appearing in the upcoming season of Bachelor in Paradise.

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