Adam Driver Finally Confronted John Oliver About His Thirst: “What the F*ck Are You Doing?”

Image Source: Getty / Theo Wargo / Jim Spellman

For months, John Oliver has been dedicated to his thirst for Adam Driver on Last Week Tonight, and it seems that Adam has had enough. On Nov. 15, Adam FaceTimed the late-night host to jokingly confront him on what it feels like to be called a “human wall” and have John wish for him to step on his throat. What started as an innocent case of “Adam Driver fever” turned into something both sexual and violent, as John readily admitted.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” Adam hilariously said. “This thing you’ve been doing that’s either sexual or violent . . . This strange, strange bit that for some reason you’ve pulled me into. What is it?” It didn’t take long for Adam to launch into a list of everything John had “asked” him to do over the year. “Collapse on your chest. Tie your fingers in a square knot. Step on your throat. Shatter your knees. Pull your heart out through your ear. What’s wrong with you? You realize we’re strangers, right? I don’t know you. And now random people on the internet stan us, claiming that you thirsting over me is ‘a mood.’ I’m sick of people stopping me on the street and asking me if I’m going to punch a hole in you like a Marriage Story wall.”

Adam couldn’t even get an apology out of John, who instead referred to himself as “America’s naughtiest b*tch.” Sadly, it seems the bit may be over with Adam’s final command to John to, “Explore the f*cking space, you hollow-boned Mr. Bean cosplayer. Look around you, you underbaked gingerbread boy.” John, of course, responded like any Adam stan would, with an, “Oh God, that feels good.”