Attention, Horror-Movie Enthusiasts: Here's Every Michael Myers Halloween Movie Ranked
No question about it: Michael Myers is my favorite Halloween movie villain. The minute that ominous theme song starts to play, my heartbeat picks up speed and I have a sudden urge to shut the blinds and bolt the doors lest Michael himself should be waiting outside my house with a butcher’s knife in hand. There’s just something about that theme song that sets me on edge, but my favorite thing about the 11-part horror series is that it makes absolutely no sense.
Don’t get me wrong: I love the Halloween series. I’m still wary whenever I see a clothesline hung with multiple white bed sheets or catch myself strolling down a suspiciously quiet suburban sidewalk on a crisp fall afternoon. But each Halloween movie is rife with continuity errors (Is Laurie Michael’s sister or not? Is he a zombie or is he just indestructible?), making the watch order a little confusing – there are five different timelines! Still, it’s the fact that I never truly know everything about Michael’s past or future that gives me the chills. Yep, just like Friday the 13th (1980) and Scream (1996), Halloween (1978) and most of its sequels are the perfect horror films for watching with a group of friends as you shout at the TV warning the goofy sidekick not to open the closet or go down into the basement alone.
I’ve made it a point to squeeze in at least a few classic Halloween thrillers every October, especially if they’ve never made it onto my watch list in the past. But it can be difficult to sift through the truly chilling drop-your-popcorn-on-the-floor movies and the ones that just aren’t worth the spooky spirit. So, as a huge fan of the Halloween series, I’ve gone through and ranked each film from worst to best. I won’t sit here and tell you that these are good movies – in fact, most of them are downright cheesy – but they definitely satisfy that need for spooky October entertainment, and they make every day leading up to the holiday feel a little more like Halloween.
In total, the series takes 17 hours and eight minutes to complete. So if you happen to have some spare time before Halloween night, check out where to watch all of the Michael Myers Halloween movies (and which ones are most worth seeing if you’re short on time), ahead.