Michelle Obama Opens Up to Oprah Winfrey About Her and Barack’s Different Love Languages

Getty / Kevin Dietsch

Michelle Obama is sharing some new insight into her relationship with her husband, former President Barack Obama. In an excerpt of her podcast, “Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast,” shared with People, Michelle opened up to special guest Oprah Winfrey about what makes her 30-plus-year marriage to the former president stick.

“Barack wants to talk rationally, and I’m like, ‘Rational?'” Michelle said, noting that she’s more “hot-headed” than her husband. “Don’t come to me with sense – I’m angry! Don’t come to me with your three bullet points – you better get out of here and let me cool down!” she continued.

Related: Michelle Obama Says Her Absolute “Favorite Smell” Is Husband Barack

She also revealed that the pair, who tied the knot in 1992, have different ways of showing love. “Because his family lived far away and traveled a lot, he had to learn to love at a distance,” she said. “And that means there are more words said, more love exchanged, more physical, you know, ‘I love yous.’ I grew up with everybody within eight blocks of each other, all my aunts and uncles and great uncles and cousins. So we were with each other, every weekend, twice a weekend. So it was like, ‘Bye. I don’t have to tell you I love you because I’m going to see you Saturday.'” Rather than verbal “I love yous” – which would presumably fall under the “words of affirmation” category of Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages – Michelle said that, for her, love is more about “showing up” and acts of service like doing the laundry.

Michelle also shared that behind the scenes of the pair’s extremely well-documented affection for each other is a relationship that requires effort and dedication. “I believe more of us have to be honest about the work that it takes to build a life with another person,” she told Winfrey. “To me, it doesn’t seem like it’s that controversial.”

The excerpt’s release comes the day before the release of another, larger-scale collaboration between Michelle and Winfrey. On April 25, a documentary called “The Light We Carry” is set to premiere on Netflix. It will chronicle Michelle’s experiences writing and promoting her second memoir, “The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times,” and will also feature another extensive conversation between the former first lady and Winfrey.

Related: Michelle Obama Reacts to Viral Clip of Barack Being Called “Fine”: “Oh, Really? That’s So Sweet”

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