PS: How difficult is it to today keep going over and over what was quite a heartbreaking moment?
Bella: It's the weirdest feeling because even when someone plays an audio or when I watched it back last night, you literally get transported straight back to that moment. I told myself, I'm over it, and then I feel what I felt in that moment and you can't explain it. At the end of the day, I did love him and I was standing there watching the man that I loved bawling his eyes out. No one wants to see anyone that you care about feel that way, regardless of the outcome. It was a hard moment for me to watch, but it did happen a few months ago and it was kind of the closure that I needed, watching it back.
PS: How did it feel to be expected to comfort and absolve Locky at the same time as he was rejecting you?
Bella:I thought it had to be me being consoled honestly! I couldn't believe it and I definitely wasn't expecting to walk in and he'd start crying. I didn't understand. I was like, Is he upset because he's broken up with Irena [or] is he upset because he's about to dump me? I didn't know what to expect until he said, I just feel so bad, and that's when my heart hit the floor. And, in that moment, I just went numb and my barrier went up and it was kind of like a voice in the back of my head that was like, Protect yourself at all costs. I didn't want to give away that little last bit of vulnerability that I had.
PS: It also made for an iconic exit!
Bella: I've been getting so many beautiful messages! I didn't even think they'd show that, I just thought they were gonna show me walking off. I just had to have that one bit of strength in me to walk away and not listen to any of the examples that he tried to give me.
PS: Was there anything that we didn't see from that last time you saw him?
Bella: There was definitely a few things that were said. There was a lot of adrenaline in that moment — I actually don't remember exactly what was said. I was just upset in that moment and you do and say crazy things when you're in love and you're hurt. I think I ended up saying something like, You've got honour tattooed on your chest, or something like that, and walked off. Not my finest moment! [But] I was kind of proud of myself. I was like, Don't you tell me that you love me and then break my heart!
PS: It's not fair! And it's also such a dumb tattoo. Are we allowed to say that now?
Bella: This is the kind of support that I need in a relationship [laughs]. I saw a meme or something and it was like when Izzy's mum asked about his values and he didn't give the two that he tattooed on his chest. And I was like, That is such a good point!
At the end of the day, Locky was speaking his truth and he genuinely felt like he was in love with both of us, and who am I to say whether or not that was genuine? I'm happy for him and Irena, because it was Locky's love story. We all deserve to find love and he obviously just wasn't my little fairytale ending, but I'll get that one day hopefully.