Cartia Mallan: The 5 Things I Did to Become the Most Confident Version of Myself

Cartia Mallan

POPSUGAR Australia is dedicating the month of September to featuring the next generation of inspired thinkers and courageous individuals who are building and manifesting a brighter future — because the next gen is unstoppable. We will deliver personal essays from young Australians who are making a name for themselves, as well as inspiring thought pieces and interviews with rising talent across different industries throughout the month. Find all of our pieces here, and if there’s someone you think is missing, email our editor so we can share their story —

I live my life with the belief that any bad or hard situation that comes my way is an opportunity for incredible growth and profound lessons.

When you are in the depth of pain and struggle, it can be so hard to trust that you will somehow find a way to miraculously rise from the ashes and transform into the best version of yourself.

Trust me when I say the road to becoming truly unstoppable comes from taking all that has wounded you and using it to fuel a deep fire in your belly, to propel yourself forward into your wildest desires and dreams. It sounds cliché and corny as hell, but this is genuinely what I did to not find only success within my industry but also fulfilling happiness in my life.

One of my biggest reasons I do what I do is that I genuinely love to see people living their truth… taking risks every day to step outside of fear and live the life they truly desire. When I was younger, my biggest commitment to myself was that I would do whatever it takes to push me out of my comfort zone and fight for what I wanted. And, luckily, I had a lot of inspiration, as well a lot of people who I wanted to prove wrong.

In school, I experienced pretty terrible bullying which saw some people squash down any aspirations I had. It makes the feeling of achieving your goals even better when you receive the classic “Omg babe, so amazing to see you’re doing so well — we should catch up soon!” messages from the nasty girls and boys that bullied me about my weight or for pursuing a career in social media. I’ve really enjoyed proving people wrong.

So, with that said, here are my five best tips on how to not only become ruthlessly unstoppable, but also how to be the best and most confident you — just like I did.

Be Unapologetically You

After years of bashing myself up for all of the things I was insecure about, whether it be my body, my looks, my thoughts or beliefs, I realised that I was wasting my time.

What a sad reality to be comparing yourself daily and exhausting all of the precious time you have on this earth wishing you were someone else. I’m sorry to break it to you but there are no takebacks, there is no switching or jumping into someone else’s body and soul… you are stuck with you for life whether you like it or not. So start making your house a home.

I remind myself every day that my superpower in this life is the fact that there is only ONE me. Honour your quirks, your style, your loud cackle laugh, the freckles on your face. Everything! It makes you unique and the minute you can get out of your own way, you’ll be on the quickest path to becoming unstoppable. 

Resilience and Hard Work Pays Off

Commit. Truly commit. This means saying no to socialising, working back late, thinking outside of the box… etc.

I always say for me — to be able to get ahead, I need to do the things other people don’t want to do.  Always keep the bigger picture in mind and ask yourself… “Is this going to benefit my life in the future, or is this just a distraction?”

Our lives are so full of distractions — social media being a huge one. When I really need to focus, I find deleting social media apps for a few days or a week can set me ahead weeks. I also feel super clear-headed for doing it. If this is not something you think you could commit to, try planning out your days more effectively. I’m huge on writing lists and planning out my week to stay super on track.

Be Kind 

Just be a good person. It sounds simple but I genuinely believe when you treat others how you wish to be treated, it is not only good for your soul, but it’s also far more gratifying long term than behaving like a diva. No one likes to be around that energy or people that feel demanding or entitled. When you radiate positivity, it not only helps you feel amazing but it attracts other beautiful like minded people into your space.  

Manifestation and Self Worth

Manifestation is one of the most magical tools to use. When it comes to becoming unstoppable and achieving huge goals, I envision myself having already achieved them. This allows my energy to sit in a confident position where it truly knows I am deeply worthy of this goal. 

If you are vibrating on the frequency of doubt and fear, how can the universe ever deliver incredible abundance to you when you’re blocking it? When my self esteem starts to feel slightly low, I find journalling, mood boards, day dreaming and talking to my friends about my goals extremely helpful. It holds me accountable and also re-inspires me to stay on track.

Writing a gratitude list weekly is also a big must. Gratitude counteracts stress. There is always something to feel grateful for. 

You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

This one is a biggie. I truly would not be where I am today without the support from the beautiful humans I have in my life.

I learnt the hard way that if people’s energy isn’t adding to your life, it’s detracting. If you find yourself feeling deflated, anxious, exhausted or upset after you leave from hanging with a friend or partner — get rid of them. Sounds savage, but it’s the truth. You are worthy of love and support. Everyone deserves to be loved and genuinely supported.

Find your soul pod who wants to see you win. The right friends realise a win for you is a win for them. Jealousy is toxic and so unnecessary. I know cutting friends can be hard but trust me when I say once you clear that space, the universe then has a chance to send new beautiful like-minded humans your way. 

Now get out there and go and show the world how outrageously iconic you are.

You can follow Cartia Mallan on Instagram.

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