12 Simple But Effective Conversation Starters to Use on Dating App Cuties


As someone who once was an avid dating app swiper, I would say it’s now tougher to have good, meaningful chats than before. When the dating app concept was new and exciting, most people were there to create meaningful relationships or were open to chatting with anyone.

But now that we’re collectively more experienced and have more options, we’re a lot pickier. Many of my friends are currently using them and finding it hard to strike up meaningful conversations with people.

“Everyone’s on a dating app these days,” my friend Anna told me after a failed date. “It’s so hard to find someone who actually wants to get to know me.”

I felt for her — and everyone else struggling to find meaningful conversation on dating apps right now.

So, as someone who has extensive dating app experience, I thought I’ll put together 12 simple but effective conversation starters for you to try.

12 Easy Conversation Starters for Dating Apps

Ask them something directly related to their profile. For example, they might say their love language is lasagne. So open with something like: “Bechamel or no bechamel?”

Be direct and ask what the other person is looking for. Confidence is always sexy. Ask something like: “Hi. *insert compliment here* What brings you here?”

Start with a game. ‘Would You Rather’ is a classic, but actually effective way to get to know someone and have some fun. It also keeps the suspense going. “Would you rather spend a day at the gym, or hiking?”

State a thoughtful observation you have about them, based on their profile. Imagine you’re seeing them from afar in real life. What could you say that would compliment them and catch their interest? Something like: “You have a super radiant smile.” OR “Your fashion sense is on point.”

Dive in deep. Don’t be afraid to ask big questions in the initial stages of a conversation. Start with something like: “Hi *insert name*, what’s something you’re super passionate about?”

Move the conversation elsewhere. This isn’t necessarily a conversation-starter, but can absolutely be done towards the beginning of a conversation — especially if it’s going well. Giving them your number or your social media handle might gear things up a bit, and show them that you’re really into about them. “Hey, I’d love to keep chatting with you off the app. Here’s my number!”

Compliment their vibe. It’s a sneaky way to give someone a compliment without sounding superficial. “Wow, your vibe is so upbeat and refreshing. I love your photos!”

Music is a great conversation starter because it’s something we all love, and is also a really great date idea. If your match’s profile says they like music or going to gigs or concerts, ask them more about that. “I love going to concerts too. What’s your favourite concert you’ve ever been to?”

A classic wine question has always won me over. A simple: “Red wine, or white?” is perfect.

Talking about your feelings can be great, too. If you’re nervous to talk to them or start the convo, say that! Honesty is endearing. Just say it how it is. “Hi. I’m not sure what to say because I’m new at this and you’re gorgeous. But hi. How is your day?”

Food is another great thing to bond over and almost guaranteed to get you a reply. “What’s your favourite unconventional snack?” “What’s your favourite restaurant?” “What’s your speciality in the kitchen?” All A+ food-related questions.

Keep it simple. Sometimes all you have to do is say hi and see what happens.

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