Are Flings a Thing of the Past? We Investigate

Recent research done by OG dating website eharmony, has shown that a shocking four in five singles (80%) are giving ‘casual’ relationships the flick post-2020. Does that mean that flings are a thing of the past?

Surely not.

Flings are the absolute joy of single life. They’re the relationships you can experiment in, take risks and live out your fantasies to see if they’re as good as you imagined them to be.

A fling is a non-committal, usually short but intense romantic or sexual relationship.

A fling is the boy you fell in love with in Italy because he took you on Vespa rides and bought you gelato, or the beautiful girl you met at a fancy hotel, in between flights.

They’re those one-off, beautifully intense love stories that you’ll tell for years to come. They also make for great daydreaming content, if you’re having a bad day or feeling a bit blue, replaying a fling in your mind makes you feel alive again.

I think it’s fair enough that we romanticise flings, because from personal experience, they represent those moments of true freedom, where you let your inhibitions go, live in the moment and allow yourself to get lost in the idea of romance.

A fling can also mean a casual relationship, perhaps a ‘friends with benefits’-type set-up, or an on-and-off relationship that’s more ongoing. But when I think of a fling, I always think of something short, intense and meaningful.

This data from eharmony, which involved a survey completed by thousands of Australian singles, reveals that post-2020, it seems people are more interested in finding love and settling down.

In 2021, I’ve noticed that we’re becoming more decisive about what we want and taking measures that will benefit our lives and our mental health. Since the start of COVID-19 at the beginning of 2020, we’ve become used to isolating and not having those spontaneous social connections that occur on a night out or just as we live out our daily lives.

“COVID-19 opened a lot of singles’ eyes to what it means to have a meaningful relationship, and how humans truly need to feel a connection and build a bond with someone,” says eharmony’s relationship expert, Sharon Draper.

While lockdowns caused many relationships to end, with overdue issues coming to the surface, it also made a lot of singles realise they might actually want to be in love.

“In lockdown, I realised what I was missing in my life, and that was a partner,” one of my single friends told me over a wine the other night.

“I live such a busy life and I was able to distract myself with things enough that I could convince myself that I didn’t want to be in a relationship.

“Then, one of those nights in lockdown last year, when I’d been alone for months already, I realised that it’s the small things in life that matter. One of the things I treasure the most is sharing my life with others, whether it’s through conversation of physical affection and I realised that I didn’t have that in my home, but I wanted it. I wanted to love and be loved.

“It was an eye-opening moment for me.”

She’s not the only one of my friends that got serious about love during lockdown. It got me thinking that perhaps it’s not about getting rid of flings, but more about communicating about what you want in a relationship.

“I’m not surprised that the research commissioned by eharmony has shown 80% of singles are no longer interested in flings,” says Draper.

“Human beings are a social species and have an innate need for companionship, and to belong to a group.”

Instead of letting a fling go on and off again, perhaps we’re becoming more upfront about what we want. If you have feelings for someone you’re in a casual relationship with, telling them can be tricky and nerve-wracking, because what if they don’t return your feelings?

But what if they do?

The reward seems greater than the risk in this isolating and often lonely pandemic world that we’ve found ourselves in.

“Loneliness can be such a powerful driver; driving singles to no longer be interested in flings,” Draper says.

“They’re now coming to understand the importance of a meaningful connection and how important it is for us as human beings. Singles, probably now more than ever, are looking for a relationship that will last.”

However, if you’re single and still a big advocate for the fling, don’t feel dejected.

Flings have their own purpose and as long as you’re upfront and open from the start, then you’re free to relish in temporary romance as much as you please.