I Have Six Months Left to Find “the One”, According to a Psychic
I have six months left to find “the one”. No, I’m not trapped in a tower, trying on glass slippers, or hanging my hair out of the window for my one true love. I did, however, seek out a psychic medium, and have been impatiently waiting for my own Prince Charming ever since.
Feeling lost, lonely, and with no solid answer to what the future would hold, I turned to spirituality for the first time around two years ago. Coupling post-Covid lockdown anxiety with a newfound abundance of time, that spur-of-the-moment decision has started to catch up with me, for what sounded like a perfect promise of love has left me racing against the clock.
Of course, we discussed fun things: a possible trip to Australia, a friend forecasted to fall pregnant, and the creative pathways she foresaw me going down. Sad topics came up too, detailing deep and intimate parts of family history. But, when attention turned to my love life, I didn’t quite receive the answers I was secretly hoping for.
“We don’t live in a world where you only have one chance, where we only have one timeframe.”
A will-they-won’t-they fling had held a soft spot in my mind for around six years, through multiple boyfriends and repetitive dates. In fact, even when in relationships, this person was usually out of sight, but rarely out of mind. So being told “you will meet ‘the one’ between the ages of 23 and 25” came as quite a shock. Sat in front of the psychic aged 22, it instantly ruled out anyone I had met already, mystery man included. And now, six months away from my 25th birthday, I’m no further along in my search to finding love.
What I have found is a hefty handful of unsuitable men who I gave too much attention to for fear of missing that magical moment. Which, sadly, has left me with nothing more than a number of nights being told at-length about NFTs, caught up in controversial conversations, and feigning interest over pictures of teenage kids (a pretty serious sign there may have been an uncomfortable age gap).
“Even the best psychics and mediums in the world aren’t going to get everything right,” shares Licensed Clinical Social Worker and relationship coach, Jaime Bronstein. “Not everything they say is going to happen at the exact time that they say. They aren’t perfect as they are still human.”
Working with intuitive messages herself, Bronstein is well-versed in wanting to delve into the unknown, and concludes that I’ve been putting obstacles in the way without realising. “The universe gives us what we focus on. I think, because of what you were told, you were focussed more on ‘what if it doesn’t happen’, the fear of it not happening versus trusting it’s going to happen,” Bronstein explains. “So you could’ve swayed things or delayed things.”
“Married at First Sight”‘s Relationship Expert, Mel Schilling, has a slightly more pragmatic approach. “When you’ve had this experience with something that you believe in that is a higher power than yourself, whether that’s spirituality, organised religion, or anything else, and you allow that to create a story in your mind and buy into it wholeheartedly, then it’s very hard to separate that story from the real story that is actually playing out in real life,” she says.
The reality of which was much less romantic than the thought of the universe bringing us together, yet zapped me out of my fairytale-book-like fantasy. “You’ve got control here, this is not some sort of divine intervention that’s going to come down from the sky and give you your soulmate. You’re actually going to design the strategy and put tactics in place to take the right steps towards that person,” Schilling says.
Bronstein also speaks of taking control, stressing how if I see someone I’m attracted to, I have to go up and speak to them, not just sit back and relax. “We don’t live in a world where you only have one chance, where we only have one timeframe,” she adds, easing my nerves about being forever alone if the next six months don’t serve up a soulmate on a platter.
“The biggest thing I can say is that your intuition is the greatest gift you can give yourself.”
“There are wonderful things about psychics and having an idea of what is going to happen, but we don’t want it to steer our lives too much. We still want to make our choices,” Bronstein adds. “The biggest thing I can say is that your intuition is the greatest gift you can give yourself.” So I am now nursing my intuition back to health after kicking it to the curb looking for love in anyone who crossed my path.
Schilling shares a concern when many believe destiny is out of their control. “It can bring around a sense of helplessness. Whereas you’re not helpless, you actually have a lot of control over these things, and you can make some smart moves and get closer to getting what you want.”
I’m now starting to see the psychics’ premonitions as a blessing in disguise. Despite my friends pleading with me for years to forget about this barely-there romance with the aforementioned mystery man, this one simple statement from the psychic was all it took for me to close the door and pursue less-than-suitable dates. Now, instead of living in fear of not finding the one, I’m trusting that what is meant to be will be, while putting in the groundwork. I’m now discovering my dealbreakers, going out and meeting more like-minded people, and allowing that all-encompassing butterfly feeling of what we’re told love is meant to be like to slowly grow over time should I connect with a compatible person, rather than hit me like a steam train. And if I’m still single in six months, then so be it.
For more dating advice, try The C Word (Confidence): Make friends with fear and build confidence from the ground up by Mel Schilling ($22) and keep an eye out for Jaime Bronstein’s book launching very soon.