Why Self Love Is Vital For a Healthy Sex Life

According to sex coach Georgia Grace, there’s a misconception that self-love or solo exploration is only for those who are single.

“My clients will often identify that as soon as they got into a relationship their self-care routines went out the window,” she tells POPSUGAR Australia.

“Self-love, pleasure and exploration are vital for everyone, it’s something you can and should do while in a relationship with someone else.”

For me, I don’t think I could be in a healthy relationship if I relied upon my boyfriend to be my only outlet for sexual pleasure. Having an independent relationship with sex and self-pleasure, allows me to feel empowered and confident within myself. I don’t need him to feel sexy, and that’s important to me.

However, a lot of my friends who have recently found themselves in serious relationships, haven’t maintained their independent relationship with their sexuality.

“We are all a work-in-progress, especially when it comes to sex and pleasure, there’s always more you can learn, explore and feel,” Grace says. “There are many benefits to prioritising your pleasure for a healthy relationship.”

Here are four reasons why self love is vital for a healthy relationship and sex life, according to sex coach Georgia Grace.

You are Responsible For Your Pleasure

“It is your responsibility to ask for what you want. No matter how much you know or love your partner — they are not a mind reader. In order to get what you want, you need to be direct, descriptive and ongoing in your communication. My clients will often say — I don’t know how to ask for what I want, because I don’t actually know what I want, which leads me to the next point…”

You Learn About What You Want Like or Need

“Through solo exploration, you can learn about how you like to be touched, how to be more present during sex, how to build or regulate arousal…masturbation is one of the best ways to learn about sex. So masturbate and do it often!

“If it’s useful you could also show your partner how to stimulate your body, the different pressures or techniques you like – this can be done through a mutual masturbation practice or even a show-and-tell taking turns you teach each other. Kinda fun, kinda hot.”

Your Partner Can’t Fulfil All Your Needs

“We turn to different people for different needs and the same should go for love and pleasure. Sex with someone else is great! But so is solo sex.”

Your needs might also extend beyond sex, like feeling sexy for yourself. Self love isn’t all about being able to give yourself an orgasm, sometimes it’s literally just putting on a cute lacy bra and checking yourself out in the mirror. There are heaps of fab lingerie brands that champion self love, such as Bras N Things‘ I Come First campaign, which is all about embracing self-love and putting yourself first.

It’s Good For You

“Women and people with vulvas are more likely to orgasm during masturbation and when you experience orgasm, your body releases all these feel-good neurochemicals like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin — and the benefits can be felt of up to an hour after you’ve cum! Leaving you feeling more connected to your body and in turn your partner.”