Debunking 3 Stupidly Common Myths About Dating as a Bisexual
Despite being the largest self-identified group in the LGBTQIA+ community, there are still certain myths about bisexuality that mean bisexual people encounter misunderstanding and prejudice from both queer and cis communities.
there are still certain myths about bisexuality that mean bisexual people encou
According to Hinge’s 2023 LGBTQIA+ Dating Report, biphobia makes it harder for bisexual people to form connections with partners and within the community. Biphobia can take the shape of discriminatory rejection, when daters are unwilling to explore connections with bisexual partners, leaving many feeling hesitant to discuss their sexuality. It can also look like a disregarding of identity, with so many myths surrounding how bisexual people date and experience relationships and sex.
As a bisexual woman myself, I feel constantly compelled to bring these conversations to the surface, to debunk common myths that impact the community negatively, and to get bisexual visibility and acceptance out there in the world.
With help from Moe Ari Brown (he/they), Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert, here are three common myths about bisexuality and dating as someone who identifies as a bisexual.
Myth: Bisexuality Doesn’t Exist
Unfortunately, there are people who still believe that regardless of a person’s experiences with people of other genders, being attracted to someone of the same gender makes them gay or lesbian.
This isn’t the case, says Brown.
“Somebody’s previous sexual experiences don’t define their identity. We all have a right to decide how we identify according to what feels right.”
They go on to explain that the labels ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ denote people who are exclusively attracted to people of their same gender. Bisexual people experience attraction to at least two genders.
Myth: Bisexual People Can’t Be Monogamous
This myth is based on pure speculation. It comes from the idea that bisexuality needs to be fully experienced — meaning sex with multiple genders — at all times, and therefore doesn’t lend itself to monogamy.
However, “sexual orientation is about how we do or don’t experience sexual attraction — it doesn’t tell us the kind of relationship people want,” says Brown.
Even though bisexual babes are attracted to more than one gender, they can still practice monogamy and choose to date one person exclusively. Or not! But it’s not because they’re bisexual.
And there are certainly ways to explore your bisexuality in a monogamous relationship. You can engage in open sexual activities and exploration with your monogamous partner by, for instance, inviting a third into the bedroom.
Myth: You’re Not Bisexual Until You’ve Had Experiences with More Than One Gender
People who identify as bisexual are often discounted if their sexual experiences don’t reflect being with more than one gender.
However, bisexual people can experience attraction and understand their sexual orientation well before they have any sexual relationships, says Brown.
“Someone can identify as bisexual while only having sexual experiences with people of one gender.”
As a bisexual woman, I can attest for this personally. I knew I was bisexual before I’d had a sexual experience with a woman — it’s just something you know. We’re all on a different journey with our identities and sexualities. It’s not up to anyone else to tell us how we identify and there should be no black and white rules that tell us when we’re allowed to identify in a certain way. We are who we are — it’s as simple as that.