13 Things That No Longer Gross You Out Once You Become a Parent

Flickr user Benjamin Vander Steen

Before becoming a parent, the idea of puke, boogers, your parent wiping something off your face with spit, and anything having to do with poop likely grossed you out, which is totally understandable. But after you have your first child, it’s like a switch flips and all of a sudden nothing is too disgusting to handle anymore – it’s a weird gift, but a gift all the same.

Read through for 13 gross things that no longer phase you after having kids.

  1. Poop. The smell of poop, sight of poop, poop all over your child’s body and clothes, poop all over you – none of it matters anymore.
  2. Puke. Projectile vomit – no matter what the consistency, color, temperature, or volume – no longer bothers you. Maybe you were the type to run away from sick people in college, but now that you’re a parent, you’re a fearless barf first responder.
  3. Snot. Now that you have kids, you will pick any child’s nose for them with your own fingers if it means not sitting on a couch full of crusty boogers they’ve picked and dug into the seat’s fibers.
  4. Drool. Whether it’s clean and pure drool or full of food particles, you are immune to it being all over you and your home’s surfaces. Congratulations.
  5. Blood. No cut (or worse) is going to make you squeamish from now on – you might as well go to medical school in your spare time (ha), because no gory scene could possibly bother you.
  6. Sneezes. A sneeze or cough straight to the face and full of germs warrants no reaction other than wiping off the spray with your hand.
  7. Chewed-up food. You will cup your hand in front of your child’s mouth so that they can spit out something they don’t like or want without missing a beat. You’re not even above eating some of it (don’t lie).
  8. Farts. Your baby is totally going to fart all over you, and you’ll probably think it’s cute. And when your young child farts on you because they think it’s funny, well, that’s just par for the course.
  9. Spit up. So not an issue. (See drool and puke.)
  10. Pee. You’ve been peed on so many times by the end of your first week as a parent, you are guaranteed to be completely unfazed by potty accidents for the rest of your life.
  11. Eye gunk. Your biggest concern with eye gunk is poking your child in the eye, not the fact that you are literally scraping eye boogers from the corners of their delicate eyes with your fingers.
  12. Morning breath. Being face-to-face with the stinkiest of kid breath – morning or not, to be honest – means nothing to you.
  13. Cleaning with spit. A little spit shine never killed nobody. If there is food crusted around your child’s mouth or something unidentifiable on their face, you’ll wipe it off using your bare finger coated in a lick of spit without even thinking twice.
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