What Is a “Findomme” and What Do They Do?
For as long as humans have been alive on earth, an extensive array of tabooed sexual practises have existed just beneath the surface of society. But now, in 2022, we get to talk about them! IDK about you, but I’m learning about new kinks all the time.
Perhaps one of the largest realms of fetishes lies within the world of BDSM— bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism — which encompasses many different kinks and practises, such as being tied up, spanked, verbally abused and whipped, all which commonly involve a submissive and a dominant.
Although many of us are probably familiar with BDSM and the classic dominatrix concept, something you don’t often hear about is findomme; financial domination.
What Is a Findom?
‘Findomme’ is a combination of the words ‘financial‘ and ‘domination’, and a findomme is a financial dominatrix. Findommes are most commonly women, but not always.
As described in Urban Dictionary, it’s a “form of erotic humiliation in which one person (the submissive) gives money and control of their finances to another (the domme)”.
It’s exactly as it sounds. The submissive, often known as ‘paypigs’, get turned on by the dominator, known as ‘findommes’ taking control of the paypig’s finances and abusing them. AKA — spending as much of the paypigs’ money as possible, and then rubbing it in their face, such as telling them how much money they’re spending in real time, or sending them receipts.
Being a findomme is often done online, through kink chat sites, or dedicated chat rooms for BSDM, but can also be carried out IRL. According to the online encyclopedia: “the relation may often be accompanied by other practices of BDSM, such as erotic humiliation, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals. The relationship between the submissive and the dominant may take place solely via online communication, but it is not uncommon for the submissive to accompany the dominant while shopping and paying with the submissive’s money.”
I mean on paper, it sounds kind of glamorous. I think maybe it’s because the idea of a dominatrix — a powerful woman — ordering a man around with his finances as a findomme, is the ultimate reversal of power. I instantly picture a sexy woman in a latex catsuit with a whip, ordering a man to buy her glittery Louboutins as she sits back and watches, martini in hand.
But then on the other hand, while I understand the basis of the BSDM kinks and what they stand for, part of me feels as though draining someone’s bank account would feel more concerning than empowering. So why, and how, do people do it?
Perhaps that’s a question for another article.
For now, here are some findomme-dedicated websites for you to check out: