Fielding Szn Is Upon Us — These Are 4 Rules For Being an Ethical Lover
Christmas is a time for joy, festive cheer and food comas, but in the southern hemisphere, it can also be a time for heartbreak, due to modern dating trend known as ‘fielding season’.
What Is Fielding Season?
Fielding season takes place right after cuffing season when the winter impulse to snuggle up with someone indoors, is replaced with warmer temperatures and a newfound desire to get back out there and “play the field”.
During this period, people seem to become more relaxed about their relationship status, preferring casual encounters over settling down. Many even trade in their partners in for summer flings.
What’s the Science Behind Fielding Season?
Serotonin (dubbed the “feel-good hormone”) levels increase with warmer weather, which could explain the uptick in dating over this period and why summer has an seemingly aphrodisiac quality to it.
As the ‘Hot Boy’ or ‘Hot Girl Summer’ social media movement continues to increase in popularity, it’s no surprise that in the warmer months so many millennials and Gen-Zers are prioritising being free and “living their best lives” over locking themselves down with a committed relationship.
The lead up to Christmas is also often a time of reflection and transition. Those with doubts about their significant other would prefer to break-up than spend the holiday period hanging out with someone they don’t see a future with. Whereas, for the more thrifty; they would rather be single than spend money on someone who isn’t worth it to them.
Perhaps the seemingly infinite supply of available and potentially more suitable eligible matches eagerly emerging from their winter slumber,might also have something to do with it. After all, dating has historically been referred to as a numbers game based on the common assumption that finding a compatible match requires going on dates with lots of different people.
What Do the Experts Say?
According to Lucille McCart, Bumble’s APAC Communications Director, summer, or fielding season, is a great time to have a more fun and flirty attitude to dating.
Certified sex coach Georgia Grace says that “seasons naturally play a huge part in how we’re feeling as well as how we connect with people”. Grace claims that the warmer months “create the context for desire” which is one of the many reasons why she has observed that over summer people tend to “engage in more hookups”.
Rachael Torcasio, the founder of Embodhi Psychology, says that in previous summers she has also “observed an increase in people downloading matchmaking apps, going on more dates, and engaging in more sexual encounters.” As for whether fielding season is for everyone though, Torcasio states that “some report enjoying the social activity whilst others report using this as an attempt to fill the emptiness they feel inside themselves.”
So, What Are the 4 Rules of Fielding Season?
1. Be Clear About Your Intentions
McCart’s advice for singles is to “be intentional about what you’re looking for and what you’d like to get out of your dating journey.” McCart recommends updating your online dating profile bio to be “reflective of what you’re looking for and see if this brings in more compatible matches.” If you’re worried that being honest will result in rejection, McCart says “remember to lead with the positive! ‘Looking for a relationship’ is always much more compelling than ‘not here for hookups’”.
2. Define the Relationship
Refrain from making any assumptions about the status of the relationship until you’ve “had the talk” about each other’s needs, desires, and expectations around commitment and exclusivity. That way you will both know where you stand and won’t end up in an unwelcome ‘situationship’ with one person wanting more.
3. Remember That “Commitment” Isn’t a Dirty Word
Wanting to take the relationship to the next level is not a crime. It’s perfectly natural to want to couple up with someone you have developed feelings for and can see a future with. Honour your needs and don’t be afraid to put a label on the relationship.
4. Don’t Ghost
Manners matter in any relationship, whether it’s casual, committed, monogamous, or open. If you don’t feel the spark, be up front about not wanting to pursue the relationship further instead of leaving the person you’ve been seeing on read. An explanation is always better than no response at all.
Just because we have now entered the season of sex, doesn’t mean everyone in a relationship is at risk of unexpectedly losing their plus one. If you do suddenly find yourself without a kiss under the mistletoe this Christmas though, remember to not take it personally. As Grace says, “do some work in supporting yourself in knowing its nothing you did and perhaps says more about what they wanted and needed rather than how you were showing up in the relationship”.
For those craving some more freedom this summer, try to do your best to follow the rules because you never know when you might end up on the other side of the field wanting lock down your seasonal bae!
Nicole Colantoni is a dating and relationship expert who is dedicated to building a community of empowered women. As POPSUGAR Australia’s dating columnist, Nicole will share updates on dating trends, advice, and answer all your burning questions. Slide into her DM’s, to share what you’d like her to answer next. Nicole hosts a podcast, Single At Thirty, which you can learn more about and listen here.