Your Clitoris Is Bigger Than You’d Think, So Don’t Let Anyone Tell You They Can’t Find It


It’s a tale as old as time. The classic story of a wandering finger, a searching tongue, furrowed brows in between legs… all in search of the clitoris — AKA the key that unlocks explosive orgasms for vulva owners.

“I can’t find it!” they’ll exclaim, coming up for air in exasperation, with a glistening chin and not a whole lot to show for it. It’s not their fault that the correct anatomical structure of the clitoris wasn’t properly mapped out until 2005.

For those who have succeeded in finding it, you may think that the clitoris is only something you can see, that bit of flesh just inside the labia that sticks up and TBH, makes itself pretty known. That’s all I used to think my clitoris was. But as it turns out, it’s so much more than that.

That part of the clitoris, the part that we discover feels really nice to touch, and after we’ve read a few Dolly Doctor responses, have worked up the courage to play with (just me?); is the external part of the clitoris. But the internal part of the clitoris, the bits that are beneath the surface making the magic happen, they’re much too prominent to have been forgotten in scientific language and medical knowledge. According to Dr. Suzanne Belton PhD, that’s exactly what happened.

“There are over 53,000 scientific and medical journals on penises, but only 2,500 or so on the clitoris,” she tells us at a Sydney breakfast for Womanizer, organised to celebrate the 17th anniversary of the clitoris being published in its true form.

While the clitoris has popped up throughout history, “discovered” by anatomist Renaldus Columbus 1559, and described by a midwife called Jane Sharp as the “female penis” in 1671, after that, it somewhat disappeared from language altogether.

Professor Helen O’Connell, the woman responsible for the correct anatomical structure of the clitoris in today’s world, didn’t get taught about the clitoris in her medical studies. Neither did Dr. Belton. This obviously sparked some conversation between the two over a few wines; “Why were we never taught about the female pleasure centre?”

As you can imagine, if experts like doctors and researchers like Belton and O’Connell, aren’t getting taught about the clitoris (and they still aren’t today), then how are we supposed to know everything about it?

We gotta do our own research. It’s worth it, for the sake of the orgasm, for sexual pleasure, for feeling truly connected to our bodies and therefore, feeling confident in our ability to have the sex we want.

Together, O’Connell and Belton created an anatomical model of the clitoris in its full form (pictured below). I’ll do my best to explain how it works.

The little mini penis-looking bit is the tips of our clitoris, the external bit; the bit that we can see and most of us know to touch.

The rest — the bulbs and outer edge (which connects the clitoris to the pelvis) — is beneath the surface. If you were to lift the skin off the vagina on the side walls, you’d see the bulbs of clitoris, which are triangular, crescental masses of erectile tissue.

This basically makes your clitoris a “cluster” of nerves, just beneath the pelvis and up in the vaginal walls. The overall size of the clitoris actually similar to the average penis. Turns out we can have BDE, too.

And as for the G-spot? According to Dr. Belton, the G-spot is actually the clitoris.

“While the world widely refers to internal stimulation as a ‘g-spot’, there is no anatomical ‘spot’ which will lead a woman to orgasm. What we refer to as the ‘g-spot’ is instead the internal clitoris near the urethra!” says Dr. Belton. 

“The internal clitoris’ function is to send pleasure sensations through vaginal (penetrative) stimulation. When the clitoris is engorged the easier it is to find and stimulate. It’s a clever feedback loop,” adds sexologist Christine Rafe.

“The internal structure of the clitoris is bigger than the external clitoral glans, meaning that you can stimulate it internally with fingers, penis, sex toy or other penetrative object. It is also located only 3-4cm inside the vagina, so there’s no need to worry that you, your partner or your sex toy can’t find it,” Rafe continued. 

There you have it queens; the clitoris is beautiful and big and perfectly made for us vulva-owning people’s pleasure. So, the next time someone tells you they “can’t find it”, it’s time to give them a little 101-session on all things vagina anatomy.

It’s important to remember that many of us have grown up without this knowledge. Plus, there’s so much societal and gendered pressure to know exactly what you’re doing when it comes to sex, that we really need to be kind to each other. But that doesn’t mean we accept lovers that are unwilling to learn about our bodies, and how they can love them better.

If all this clitoris info has totally blown your mind and you need some time to process, that’s totally understandable. Spending some alone time with your clit is undeniably one of the best ways to get comfy, confident and at one with what turns her on.

You can find some of the best sex toys your clitoris will love here. You’re welcome.

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