10 Movies to Never Watch on a First Date

Watching a movie on the first date is a bold move. Why? Because you can tell a lot about a person by the film they choose.

And on a first date, you’re the most judgemental of all. You’re sizing your potential lover up, trying to get to know them, to see if you like them. So then, imagine if they chose a horrifying film…

The pressure to choose the right film is intense. You might be better off going to the cinema and picking a random film you both know nothing about (one of my favourite first date ideas). But, if you’re not doing that and you’re really into the idea of staying in and watching a film on your next first date, we’ve rounded up 10 films that definitely shouldn’t be on the list.

Any Woody Allen Film

If a dude wants to Woody Allen with you in 2023, it’s a test. Allen himself might be cancelled, but the cringe is very much still alive.

Marriage Story

Albeit an incredible movie, you may want to steer clear of a film that depicts the beauty and the pain of a marriage in breakdown. In short, this flick might act as a crystal ball. A crystal ball breaking on the floor and ending the date prematurely.

Shindler’s List

If you haven’t watched Shindler’s List, a first date is not the time or place. If you have, you know why. A harrowing and brilliant three hour depiction of the Nazi Holocaust, that makes you feel sick to your stomach and leaves you questioning humanity is really not the vibe for a first date. A must-watch otherwise, though.

My Dinner with Andre

My Dinner with Andre is another fantastic film. However, it’s basically endurance dialogue. You have dive through so many words to get to its enthralling core. Not a great movie to kiss to.

Any of Your Most Favourite Films

This could be seen as a tactic, but it’s a risky and bold choice. Let’s break it down. Say you love the film Get Out, and you decide to share this passion with your date. They’re excited at first, to get to know you better through your film choice. But then, they fall asleep. You know immediately that it’s not going to work out. You could take this two ways — a shortcut to finding the one, or a bit of a first date trap.

The Notebook

Or really anything that is super romantic, dramatic and sad. Not only are the bold romantic gestures just highly unrealistic, but you might also want to just steer clear of anything overly sad about love. This is a first date, remember! You’re supposed to be having fun and making out!

Antichrist

While the title of this one kinda gives it away, you’re not walking into a romantic setting with this film choice. Sure, there might be a juicy sex scene, but when their infant son falls out of the window, and a psycho-sexual voyage of demonic discovery is embarked upon… it’s not really giving first date energy.

Blue Valentine

This film is brilliant, but not the kind of set-up you want on a first date. Following a young couple through the rise and fall of an intense love affair, it’s not very uplifting when it comes to looking forward. It’s more of a cynical break-up watch.

The Human Centipede

Hopefully, everyone knows by now that The Human Centipede is not first-date worthy. But just in case… don’t do it. Filled to the brim with sexual fetishism, highly questionable surgery techniques and an all round pretty gross visual — this film is no way to start a relationship.