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Can You Really Be Too Full to Have Sex?

Can You Really Be "Too Full to F*ck"? I'm Asking for Cazzie David

Cazzie David, the daughter of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator Larry David, wrote an essay about the feeling of being so stuffed after eating that you feel that you can't have sex — and the internet absolutely hated it/loved to make fun of it.

Cazzie is the creator, writer and star of web series Eighty-Sixed and she just released her debut essay collection No One Asked for This in the US, from which The Cut excerpted "Too Full to F***".

But Cazzie's probably most recognised as Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson's ex, the one he dated for over two years before almost immediately getting engaged to Ariana Grande. Her relatable response? Joking about drinking lots of wine . . .

In "Too Full to F***", Cazzie explains, "Sometimes I'm just too full to have sex," and notes that she's never discussed the issue with other women.

"Sure, women can eat and then have sex. But they really can't eat a lot. You know the saying 'You can always make room for dessert'? Well, you can't always make room for a dick. Especially if you've eaten dessert."

But the online world didn't read Cazzie's confession about eating a full meal and then having to choose between ice cream and sex as a relatable anecdote.

Instead the backlash was swift, with people complaining about Cazzie's privilege, and pointing out that being rich, White and the daughter of a famous man made it a smidge easier for her to get a book deal.

As Literally Broke founder Scarlett McCarthy summarised on Twitter: "My problem isn't that Cazzie David wrote a book. It's that the spawn of celebrities always have a head start in entertainment, and as long as they ~acknowledge~ it, we're supposed to pretend like it's fine because they're somewhat talented."

Other critics pointed out that her opening paragraph erased the experiences of trans people and was deeply hetereonormative. They also noted that the writing just wasn't all that funny or well written . . .

Putting aside the very valid criticism, another question remains — is being "too full to f*ck" really a thing?

What does it mean to be "too full to f*ck"?

I once described myself as a sex "shark" — one sniff of blood/one good lay and I want to do it over and over and over again. I'm coming back for more and I'm relentless. This is on until one or both of us are dead (too far?). So, for me, it doesn't matter if I ate a curry 20 minutes beforehand or my IBS has flared up, I'm always down to get dirty (enthusiastically and consensually, maybe after a shower). I have never been too full to f*ck. I have never been willing — as Cazzie was in her essay — to choose between delicious ice cream and sex. I have them both! I'm an empowered woman!

But, with a cheeky survey, I soon discovered my perspective was the exception to the rule.

"You can absolutely be too full to f*ck," Connie* said definitively. "If I've just smashed a large Big Daddy's burger, fries and shake (if you don't know it, look it up), I'mma need a few hours to recover before I feel sexy enough to f*ck or fit it in. Like I know it'll fit, but it feels like it won't fit and I just can't stomach it."

"Multiple times my ex and I would plan a romantic night out," Sarah*, a trans woman, explained. "We'd schedule in a big dinner then agree on some hot, hot sex later on. Our eyes would be far too big for our stomachs (and as it turns out, our libido) and returning home, several 'Ugh, I'm so full!' exclamations later there would be a silent agreement not to have sex."

"Have I ever been too full to f*ck? Of COURSE I have," Beatrice* concurred. "Every single person on planet Earth has turned down sex because we accidentally ate too much. Our brains not registering we're full for 20 minutes after our stomachs have is one of evolution's cruelest pranks on 21st century living. I have pulled the giant emergency lever on the train to Bone Town for snack-related reasons many times in my life, but until today I've never felt the need to write about it."

Francesca* noted the impact of certain foods — not only on whether she has sex at all, but on how she has sex if she does go ahead with it. "One of my true fears in life is farting during sexy time, so if I've eaten anything that may lead to that it's a no. Lucky this is rare for me," she said. "Apart from that I think fullness or a sense of feeling bloated impacts position (less likely to go on top, more likely to want from behind, and so on)."

What are those foods exactly? Penelope* spelled it out. "Mexican destroys me. Zero chance after nachos. Everything else is fair game."

And that feeling of fullness doesn't just affect whether someone can do the deed itself. Monique* shared this horror story about vomiting on her man. "Once my then-boyfriend and I went out for dinner to a nice Italian restaurant and I absolutely stuffed myself with risotto. Once we got home we were feeling frisky and started taking turns giving each other oral sex. I didn't think I was too full at the time, but it turns out I was because I regurgitated half my dinner while trying to give him a blow job."

But I'm not totally alone. Amanda* pointed out that it's actually her significant other who is the one who has a food-related reason for calling off coitus. "I will usually f*ck no matter what but John* will not especially if he's eaten a lot and there's dairy involved."

And Kirsten* said that the concept of being too full to f*ck only applies for her when we're talking about rear access. "I have only been too full to f*ck when my ex and I went through a huge anal stage and he wanted to do it after we went out for dinner. Like honey, sweetie, that's not how this works. If you wanna f*ck my ass you must give me 24 to 48 hours notice."

Honey, sweetie, it seems like being too full to f*ck is absolutely a thing — but some of us just push through it.

*Names have been changed for obvious reasons.

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