Skip Nav
Why Sandra Bullock Gets Her Kids 3 Christmas Gifts
Sandra Bullock
Sandra Bullock Is Only Getting Her Kids 3 Christmas Gifts For 1 Important Reason
Easter Show
Treats, Toys, and Tricks: Your Ultimate Guide to 2018's Easter Show Bags
Kids Crafts
Heat Up Your Glue Gun: It's Easter Hat Parade Time
Shoppable
We Love This Easter Tradition Because It Keeps You Warm All Winter
Easter Colouring In Pages
Kids Activities
15 Awesome Activities To Keep Your Kids Entertained This Easter

Essay About Passion Leaving a Marriage

Dear Husband, If You Want Me, Tell Me

Dear Husband,

Look at me. Like, really look at me. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm sexy. Tell me you adore and desire me, that you are lucky to have me by your side.

I'm in my 30s, haven't had children, and most of the time feel confident about how I look. I'm in my prime, and I'm not ready to settle for a passionless marriage. Touch me. Hold me. Hold my hand, squeeze my leg, and do it because you want to, not out of a sense of duty. The crumbs of affection you sprinkle my way because you know I want them? It's not enough. Am I enough?

If I wear a sexy dress for a special occasion and ask what you think, tell me I look hot. Don't say, "It's nice" without looking up from your phone. If I put effort into my looks, say something, anything. I know I don't have the same body as I did when we started dating. But I'm not that same 20 year old in so many ways, and thank God.

I've told you I need physical touch, this isn't new. You've told me you aren't a touchy feely guy, this isn't new. In my 20s, it didn't seem important. It was fun to attack you with kisses and affection, to have you begrudgingly crack a smile. It's not fun any more. I didn't know, couldn't know, that I would crave something so deeply that you don't seem willing or able to give me.

At night when I turn away from you in bed, sometimes my eyes are filled with tears, wishing you were holding me, kissing me. I don't think you understand that my gradual loss in interest for sex actually has nothing to do with my sexual appetite (which has only gotten stronger, if anything), but everything to do with not feeling desired by you. Affection is foreplay, and without it sex feels lackluster and inauthentic. A means to an end.

You're my partner, my teammate, and I love you. I know you care for me and show me in other ways. We work well together, we laugh together, we have meaningful conversations together, and we share a million little memories. We've built a life together, you and me.

But you're losing me a little bit every day. It breaks my heart to even write that. I don't want to throw away our past, but I don't want to throw away my future. Looking ahead at decades of longing, of having to beg for affection and desire, I'm overcome with sadness.

Would you be happier with someone who doesn't have these needs that go against who you are? Could things be better for both of us? Do we deserve better? I just don't know.

If you want me, tell me. Before it's too late.

Image Source: Unsplash/Isaac Ordaz
More from POPSUGAR
From Our Partners
Resting Metabolic Rate Test Review
Should You Buy a Jogging Stroller
Being Kind to Yourself While Losing Weight
Lunya Silk Sleep Mask Review
My Water Balance App Review
Why I'm Taking a Break From Social Media
Why Parents Should Argue With Their Kids
We're Spending New Year's Eve Away From Our Kids
I Wish My Parents Had Gotten Divorced a Long Time Ago
Things That Happen When Men Get Sick
My Husband Won't Listen to Christmas Music Before December 1
Can a Weighted Blanket Help Nervous Flyers?
Latest Parenting
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds