Even in the fleeting moments when you feel like you have a handle on your toddler's behaviors, you most definitely don't, as toddlers are unpredictable creatures. Or, as Mary Katherine Backstrom referred to her son Ben one afternoon in a Starbucks: "a dang jack in the box, completely wound up, and I am certain he's gonna bust open any minute with some brand of crazy that I can't control."
Hangry and standing in line at the coffee shop with her son who "forgot how to nap," Mary Katherine approached the barista to order a coffee and a snack for Ben when she felt a cool breeze . . . on her butt.
Maybe you know where this is going, maybe you don't, but I think we can all agree that we automatically assume here that her toddler is to blame, right?
Well, we're all winners; that is, except for Mary Katherine.
"It takes just a second for me to realise that my son has lifted my dress over his head, and is wearing it like a hat, with my granny panties and dimpled behind flashing for the entire world to see," she wrote in a post to her Facebook page, Mom Babble. "But in that one second, he also spun around, and this is going to be hard to explain but: my son wrapped his head up like a dumdum with my dress and he was ABSOLUTELY WIGGING OUT because 'MOMMY I CANT BWEEEETH!!!!' All the while my butt is showing and the barista wants me to complete my order."
The mum knows she's sometimes recognisable because of her big blog following, and admits that's normally pretty fun. But in this case, with her son wrapped up like a lollipop in her dress and her behind visible to the entire coffee shop, finding out that a "fan" paid for her coffee wasn't exactly the recognition Mary Katherine was looking for.
When I finally got Nugget out of my dress, covered my butt back up, and turned to pay the barista, my tab had been covered. "The man said to tell you that 'he's a fan.'"
Well. Now I'll always have to wonder if he's a fan of this page, a fan of my parenting, or just a fan of that family circus that travels around Florida showing the world that no matter how bad your day is, you could always be a mum whose child got stuck in her dress, revealing her behind to an entire Starbucks.
Either way . . . thank you, kind sir. The latte was especially delicious with my humble pie.
The moral of this story? Toddlers may be the worst, but sometimes people will feel bad enough for your kid's behaviour that you get a free latte out of a weird-ass (no pun intended) public situation.