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Wife's Letter to Husband About Dirty Kitchen

The Explanation This Mum Gave Her Husband For Not Cleaning the Kitchen Is Spot F*cking On

Jordan Harrell, a mum of three, had the best intentions when she first stepped into her kitchen ready to tackle the mess head on, that is until motherhood got in the way. She explained exactly what went down in a funny Facebook post aimed at her husband, and honestly, it sounds about right:

Dear Husband,

I know I said I was going to clean the kitchen today. So you might be surprised when you get home and see the kitchen is in fact, not clean.

I'd love to offer an explanation — First, I walked into the kitchen with the sole intention of cleaning it. I picked up the hair brush and rubber bands off the kitchen table and walked to the bathroom to put them in the drawer.

While in the bathroom I noticed a pile of towels on the floor that had been laying there, fermenting for several days, so I grabbed the towels and headed to the laundry room.

Once there, I decided to go ahead and do a load since both hampers were spilling over and the room smelled like cat pee and B.O. had a baby. I cranked the dials on the washer, shut the lid, and headed back to the original job: the kitchen.

Unfortunately for Jordan, that wasn't the end of the distractions because, well, kids.

"But on my way to the kitchen I was sighted by Child B. A hangry Child B. The child and her whines followed me into the kitchen, where I promptly handed her a cheese stick and told her to go eat it in the garage (because the kitchen is being cleaned right now, obviously)."

After getting Child B squared away, Jordan realized she forgot to email her teacher about the upcoming Valentine's Day party. Easy enough to sort out, right? Wrong:

As I opened the computer, Child C rushed in screaming because his cape fell off. I fixed the cape but didn't fix it the right way, so he immediately melted to the floor.

I carried Child C kicking and screaming to his room to calm down.

I walked out and shut the door, but immediately walked back in order to remove the cowboy boots so that when he inevitably started kicking the door, it wouldn't be scuffed.

Then, I headed back to the computer to . . . what was I going to do? Fifteen minutes of Facebook later, I shut the computer.

Because, of course, I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen.

Or so she thought. By the time Jordan refocused on the problem area, it was time to pick up her third kiddo from school, which meant her cleaning plans were completely foiled:

So, no. It's not clean. Nothing is ever clean. My life is just a constant state of doing and never completing.

I just thought I'd let you know the situation, so you won't ask about the state of the kitchen.

Not that you ever would. :)

Love you forever,
Your Wife

P.S. Remind me to email Child B's teacher.

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