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Things Shy People Hate Hearing

5 Things You Should Never Say to a Shy Person

The best way to approach a shy person isn't to force them to be less shy. You have to accept that they're not as extroverted as others and that there's nothing wrong with that, either. Shy personalities most hate when people — especially those who don't know them very well — put them in the spotlight for being timid. It will have the exact opposite effect if you're trying to get something out of them. They'll want to retreat or overcompensate for their quietness in an inauthentic way. If you don't want to anger a shy person, do not say these five things to them.

1. Why are you so shy?

This is definitely the most annoying question for a shy person to receive. How do they even answer that? Asking this implies that their shyness is a negative quality, which will only make them feel more self-conscious. Do not call them out like this unless you want to make things uncomfortable.

2. Just be yourself.

They are being themselves, which is shy. Someone who says this clearly isn't close to the person or else they'd know that this is who they are. It'd be different if you're already familiar with their usual behaviours and that didn't typically include shyness.

3. C'mon, loosen up!

Yes, they're definitely going to "loosen up" because you told them to. By saying this, you're sort of insinuating that the person is boring and that they need to be more fun. The best way to make them feel more at ease is by talking to them normally without putting any pressure on them.

4. You're so quiet.

Maybe they're not talking because they don't want to, not because they're being rude. You don't need to point out that they're not contributing to the conversation. They will speak up when they feel comfortable enough to.

5. Are you sad or something?

Do not ask if they're OK or if there's something wrong. If they are sad, it'd be none of your business anyway, so why ask? Be considerate and let them be unless they're exhibiting actual signs that are worth addressing.

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