The Bachelor Recap: The C-Word and Microwaved Meals Told in 23 Tweets

Image of Basmah Qazi
by Basmah Qazi
Twitter / @bachiebitching

Okay, get ready because tonight’s episode made up for last night’s lacklustre one.

To start off, JIMMY BROUGHT HIS DOG. I REPEAT, JIMMY BROUGHT HIS DOG.

Billy the doggo is introduced to all the ladies and is the one that picks who will be going on a single date with Jimmy. Nice Jimbo, let the dog decide so you don’t get the blame.

Anyway, he ends up picking Holly because out of all the girls, Holly is giving him the best scratchiez.

Can we have a Barkchler? 10/10 would watch.

Holly then third wheels it with Jimmy and Billy as they go paddleboarding in the water.

So at this point I kind of lost track of what was happening because I was too busy fawning over Billy.

Billy and Holly both fall in the water and Jimmy is faced with the gruelling decision of whose life he should save first.

He chose the dog. Wise choice.

After saving Holly, they kiss to absolutely no one’s surprise. At this point, my husband, who pretends to not like the show, asks “does this guy kiss everyone that crosses his path?”

The answer is, yes. Yes, he does.

As they kiss, Holly talks about how romantic it is to be kissed in the “pouring rain”. It was a light drizzle girl, no need to be dramatic.

Back at the mansion, Regina George AKA Stephanie is gearing up to write Holly’s name in the Burn Book.

How DARE Holly do exactly what she came on this show to do!?

Okay back to the date.

Jimmy takes Holly to the Bach pad, and like the gentleman he truly is, whips her up a not-sponsored-at-all Youfoodz meal.

mmmmmm, microwave pasta.

They sit on the couch and Holly tells Jimmy about her parents disastrous marriage, and I would really not want to be her mum and dad right now.

Jimmy has that expression where he’s trying to make it look like he cares but can’t relate because his parents are loaded and live on the northern beaches.

They kiss. Again.

Jimmy then said something that made me well up with tears. Before the show, he was afraid none of the women vying for his love would like him.

I shit you not.

Jimmy, you could have three big toes as a head and these women would still fall for you.

Fast forward, the girls meet Jimothy and Osher for the group date, and old man Osh reveals they have to walk through a maze while answering a bunch of questions.

If you get the answer right, you go through the shortcut. Whoever meets Jimmy in the middle wins a date.

“I think the intention was to embarrass us on national television,” said Stephanie about the challenge, and sorry to say babe, but you don’t need a maze to do that.

Brooke ends up winning, and she can’t stop giggling because she’s so excited to be reunited with her one true love.

Look, I’m no body language expert, but Jimmy looked disappointed when he saw Brooke was the winner.

As they sip bubbly and eat strawberries, Brooke admits to enjoying dressing up in medieval costumes, and I’m sorry? What now?

Jimmy is fearing for his life, as he looks around for a possible exit but he’s stuck. Guess a maze isn’t a great place for a date.

It’s cocktail party time, and Jimmy pulls Holly to the side to have a chat.

Stephanie was not having it, and, drum roll please, called her THE C-WORD to Brooke.

Brooke is shocked, how could Stephanie say the C-word? She needs to dob her in but to who!?

She proceeds to tell Carlie and Tahnee about what happened, and now everyone is offended.

I’m sorry, but, do these ladies not live in Australia? I’ve always thought the C-word was a term of endearment.

The ladies join forces and tell Holly about what happened.

A clearly upset Holly acts like the bigger person and confronts Stephanie, but Steph refuses to acknowledge it.

Stephanie should write a book: “Gaslighting 101”

The editing team are on Holly’s side, as they REWIND to the moment Stephanie called her the filthy word.

Look if you’re going to lie, at least make sure you aren’t being filmed.

Holly cries and says if it wasn’t for Jimmy, she would have left the show.

At the rose ceremony, you can cut the tension with a knife, as Stephanie is worried she’ll be sent home.

But we all know the producers won’t let her go that easily, so in the end, Hannah and Kendall Jenner, sorry I mean Tamlyn are forced to say goodbye as they head home.

See you next week!

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